Internet Safety for Families: Key definitions and FAQs
This article is for parents and caregivers interested in keeping kids safe online and includes key definitions and frequently asked questions about how to filter internet content to keep the bad stuff out and how to monitor what your child is doing online to help guide them in using the internet properly.
Key Internet Safety Definitions
What is an app?
An app is short for "application" and it’s a specific type of software for computers, tablets, smartphones or other devices.
What is social media? What social media apps are popular with kids? Is there a minimum age kids are supposed to be in the U.S. to have an account?
Social media platforms let people form communities, connect and exchange ideas and share comments and posts.
Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube are all social media platforms teens use regularly. Kids are supposed to be 13 years old at minimum to create an account on social media. Platforms have been lax about enforcing this requirement but are starting to remove kids under age. Experts agree that 13 years old is too young for the content, features and exposure kids currently have access to.
What is a social media algorithm?
A social media algorithm is a set of rules and signals that automatically ranks content on a social platform based on how likely each individual social media user is to like it and interact with it.
Algorithms are the reason why no two users will see exactly the same social content, even if they follow all the same accounts.
What is a “for you” or “discover page” on social media?
The “for you” or “discover page” is a section of the social media platform that lets the app’s algorithm suggests things to you , without you searching for them, based on what it knows about you and assumes you would like to see (remember, apps are collecting all kinds of data on users - their age, gender, how long they watch a video, if they stop scrolling, if they stop to comment, if they click an advertisement, what their friends are doing, what their community is doing…).
These areas are particularly dangerous for kids because they get exposed to explicit, harmful material without even wanting it or searching for it.
What is a hashtag? How are hashtags used online?
This is a hashtag: #. You use hashtags when you want to categorize a post or topic. Others can search for that content using your hashtag. For instance using the #travel hashtag on one of your travel photo posts on Instagram will let others see your post when they search #travel, plus pull up all kinds of other beautiful travel destinations and advice.
You can literally search for anything, good or bad, with hashtags.
Emojis!
What is an emoji?
An emoji is a small cartoony icon used to express an idea, emotion, event, etc.
These are examples of emojis you’ve probably seen.
Emojis with secret meanings
Here are the most popular emojis and slang words for teens and their definitions.
Children and teens use emojis communicate EVERYTHING! Flirting, sexiness, fun, annoyance, sarcasm, even which drugs they want to buy or sell.
How do I start a conversation with my child about the pressure to be perfect, post perfect selfies, use too many filters on social media?
Dove created a one minute video called “Reverse Selfie” featuring a 13-year-old girl who drastically edits a picture of herself before posting it online. The film plays backwards, starting with the posted selfie, then reversing the various tweaks and staging to finally reveal the young girl behind the picture.
It’s a great conversation starter to watch this as a family and talk about your experiences and concerns.
Where can I go to learn more about a certain app, social media platform, game, movie, TV show or other media?
You can get professional, parent and child reviews for all types of media at Common Sense Media. It’s helpful to get a wide range of feedback on what the content and features are for apps, social media platforms, games, movies and TV shows.
Is there a free app that helps me find and set up parental controls on smart TVs, gaming systems, phones, etc?
Yes! The app I recommend is called Bark-o-matic and it gives you step by step instructions on finding and setting up parental controls by device.
When should I give my child a phone? When should my teen get social media? What do I need to be preparing in advance?
We’ve created the Digital Milestones Guide to answer all your questions on how to be prepared for technology as kids grow up. This Guide takes you through parenting babies, toddlers, preschool kids, elementary school all the way to teenagers and gives you a few things to say and do at each age and stage to get ready for technology that’s headed your way.
What’s the best first phone for kids? Are there safer phones to start with?
Here’s your guide to starter phones that are safer for kids.
Is there a way to filter out the bad stuff on the internet? How do I filter the internet? Where do I find a filter?
A filtering system is like a front door on your house. It keeps most of the bad stuff out and it blocks content from getting delivered to your family members.
Human filtering
You’re the best filter there is. Spending time side by side, talking through what you’re doing and why, previewing the searches, looking at the ads that pop up on YouTube, making sure you’re using parental controls and safety features, using YouTube Kids vs YouTube
Technology filtering
An app or piece of hardware that filters out inappropriate content (explicit websites) is an important safety tool.
Where to find an internet filter
Your router may have one, the box that connect your home to the internet (for example Gryphon routers). Your internet service provider may have one (for example Verizon). Or if you try a monitoring service, many times they come with a filter (we’ll talk about my favorite monitoring service in a few minutes).
Two of our favorite free filters are the apps Apple’s Screen Time (for iPhones and other Apple products) and Google Family Link (for Android devices and newer iPhones). They can be found in your app store on your smart phone.
Our favorite filter to purchase is Bark Home. They use a small box that you plug into your router at home. In addition to filtering content, they can help you set “bedtimes” for devices and can turn off the internet for one child or one period of time.
Another way to filter the internet is to start over and upgrade your router. Your router is a device that communicates between the internet and the devices in your home that connect to the internet. We recommend the Gryphon router, which has robust parental controls built in.
More on filtering and how to do it in our Five Circles of Cyber Safety here.
Is there a way to supervise what my child is doing online? How do I monitor the internet? Where do I find an app to help me monitor what’s going on in my child’s accounts?
A monitoring system is like a camera on your front door. It doesn’t invade anyone’s privacy; it’s just delivering information about who is at your front door and what their intentions are, good or bad.
Human monitoring
Your child or teen needs to know that they should not expect 100% privacy on any device. You can and should take a look at what they’re doing online often. This can look like sitting next to them and talking or looking over their shoulder. This can also be a regular inspection, where kids hand over their phones and you spend some time on their phone, going deep into what photos they’re saving and the apps they have downloaded.
Technology monitoring
There are several apps that can help you “see” what your child is doing online, from apps that only send alerts when there is inappropriate content to “spy apps” that record every word your child writes. (In general we do not recommend “spy apps”.)
Now you can "see" when your child may be in danger online, without invading their privacy.
One of our favorite monitoring apps is called Bark and it helps parents see what your child is doing online. It lets kids keep some of their privacy online because it won’t report your child’s every keystroke. But when a child sends or receives content that could be inappropriate, you get an alert and a chance to guide their behavior, before it gets worse.
With Bark, you have the magical ability to pause the internet! And control screen time! And set bedtimes! Bark uses artificial intelligence to make sure kids stay safe and it monitors 25+ apps for inappropriate text, emojis, abbreviations and photos and send you alerts when your child may be in danger.
Bark lets kids develop their inner compass over time. They learn what's appropriate to do online and start to internalize those values. All three of my kids have come to me before I get a Bark parent alert to tell me about something dumb that someone sent. "You're probably going to get a Bark alert, Mom." Then they tell me what happened and (most importantly) what they did about it.
Want to learn more about Bark? Read here. When you pair a Bark Home filter with a Bark monitoring subscription you’ll be able to keep guiding your kids as they enter the world of social media, texting, emailing and searching terms online.
More on monitoring and how to do it in our Five Circles of Cyber Safety here.