Did you have an immediate reaction to that question?
We did too!
In this video, Claudette Chenevert, the Stepmom Coach, and I talk about “spying” vs “monitoring” and the difference between those words.
Prefer audio only? Here’s the podcast version.
The word “spying” makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong, like I’m not trusting my kids. And I’m on the right track. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines SPY as “ to watch secretly usually for hostile purposes.”
Hmmm. If I’m parenting the Positive Discipline way, my goal is to show my kids that they have significance and belonging in the family. I can’t be treating them like the enemy!
But MONITOR is defined as “to watch, keep track of, or check usually for a special purpose”. That feels better. I AM watching them for a special purpose–to keep them safe and guide them online. Just like I do face-to-face.
I tell my kids they have an app installed on their devices to keep them safe (BARK), so I’m not sneaking around treating them like the enemy. BARK keeps their normal conversations private; I never see them. But if a photo, post or comment may need my guidance, I get an alert with a screenshot of what’s going on.
Bark monitors texts, email, YouTube, and 24+ social media platforms for signs of potential issues. Check out this video to get the rundown on Bark. You can try a free 7-day trial then Click here for 20% off the app for life.
In addition to BARK, Claudette and I agree–we both (quietly) follow the social media profiles our kids/grandkids have.